I’m going through a lot right now. Generally I feel unhappy at home and work, I feel like I have limited support and trying to decide what is in my, and my son’s best interests. I know my emotions and concerns are valid.

While I feel like I had achieved some emotional security, prior to my current relationship, I am accepting now that my current relationship is contributing to me moving towards a place of less security.

In an effort to return to a place of security, to evaluate my next steps and choices, I have started seeing a therapist again. At her suggestion, I’m attempting Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) in an effort to understand and accept the intensity of my feelings.

What am I feeling? Panic, Anxious, Hostility, Resentment, Hurt, Isolation, Grief, Disillusionment.

Why am I feeling this way? Thoughts that my romantic relationship is over. Acceptance of the toxic culture, emotional abuse. Concern for myself and my child.

What led up to this? Conflict, lack of sleep, stress from other sources (work).

Are these emotions connected to something that happened in my childhood? Yes. The way that I’m being treated in my relationship is similar to how my father treated me going up and how my previous partner treated me. I believe my partner is a high functioning addict. I doubt that people can recover. I’ve never experienced it. I don’t want to make my next decisions based on that belief, they will also impact my son.